A sign of the times
Maybe it was bound to come. In a move which will nonetheless shock many, the Association of Preachers and Evangelists (A.P.E) announced a series of moves today intended to reflect our straitened circumstances:
- From now on all biblical references will be removed to save on ink. Instead, readings will be given from the Combined Old and New version.
- A new ‘sermon -lite’ will be available for those with faster download speeds, on a pay per pew basis.
- Churches looking to raise extra revenue will now be able to sell subliminal advertising space in the sermon. This means that we can expect more sermons on BOLDness, the FRUIT of the Spirit, the need to FINISH the race, and the desire to make our sins VANISH.
- Loyalty points will be awarded for those attending sermons regularly.These can be redeemed against pay per pew speedy downloads, or saved up for a ‘get-out-of-church-free’ card.
As if all this weren’t shocking enough, what worries many congregations is that their particular member of A.P.E has started reading Desmond Morris’ book. (Details here)
13 comments
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April 1, 2011 at 6:52 am
maggi dawn
what day is it again? 😉
April 1, 2011 at 6:55 am
preachersa2z
Thought you might be quick to notice!
April 1, 2011 at 9:37 am
John Hamilton
It is a day of serious bad news for forward looking Christians.
See also http://www.facebook.com/eddie.arthur
April 1, 2011 at 9:37 am
Nancy Wallace
April Fool!
April 1, 2011 at 9:43 am
jonathanrose
Welcome to The Happy Church, Reverend:
http://thehappychurch.wordpress.com/category/what-we-do-at-the-happy-church/
April 1, 2011 at 9:51 am
preachersa2z
Should I sign up now?
April 1, 2011 at 9:54 am
John Hamilton
“I’m starting to reconsider my views on the King James Only movement. Perhaps there is some validity in the concept after all. Today of all days, the Church is too fragmented and we need to unite around a single text.”
Facebook comment from Eddie Arthur that you can’t get at in my comment above
April 1, 2011 at 10:03 am
preachersa2z
An interesting point – though not sure I agree!
April 1, 2011 at 12:41 pm
John Hamilton
?
April 1, 2011 at 10:55 am
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April 1, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Levi
Nicely done Richard. Happy April first to you too.
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