The grammar of Easter

Not sure exactly what put this in mind for Easter last year. It might have been an item I heard on the radio about the search for the elusive pangram – a sentence which includes every letter in the English language, but only once. It might have been watching an old Two Ronnies’ sketch about learning Swedish. Either way, the little talk below was born. Five A3 placards with a vowel on each were issued to different members of the congregation, and they were encouraged to stand when their vowel was said.

A up, said Peter,I don’t know about U, but I can’t just sit here thinking. ‘E,’ said John, who had developed an inexplicable Northern accent, ‘I reckon u are right’. Just then, Mary burst in through the door.’O Peter’, she said, ‘O John’. ‘U won’t believe what I have just seen. ”What have U seen?’ chorused the two men. ‘E’s risen’, she said ‘E’s risen I tell U‘. ‘O‘, said the men, ‘thank U for telling us’.

Quick as a fox jumping over a lazy dog, John & Peter took off for the tomb.  John was a little bit quicker, and E got there first. ‘O‘, E said.  ‘E‘, said Peter, standing in the midst of the empty grave. ‘U are not kidding, O’s the word. E’s really risen’.  ‘This is a new day for U, they said, pointing at each other.


After the hilarity had died down, we talked a little about how language  doesn’t work without vowels (see below). In the same way Christianity without resurrection cannot function. It is a shabby thing which makes no sense.